Death to Smoochy

Sweetest dark comedy EVER.

"Bastard Son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die, you Muppet from hell! Die, you foam motherfucker!"

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*** Get You Off That Smack


*** My Stepdad's Not Mean, He's Just Adjusting


*** Best of Randolph


* "What are you, blind? It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you sick fuck! It's a cock! Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! It's a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It's made from dil-dough."

* "Hello, little nipple-nibbler. The rhino's a Nazi!"

"- Don't touch me!
* Randolph!
- My name isn't Wandolph, it's Randolph!
* How does it feel to be voted the most hated man in America?
- In a country full of Neanderthals, I wear the fucking badge of honour!
* Nora Wells says you have an unhealthy obssession with Sheldon Mopes?
- I barely know that bitch okay. And she's been down on everything but the Titanic! She spreads like cream cheese for Sheldon!
* What about the rumours that you're mentally unbalanced?
- WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?! I'm good again. I'm not mentally unbalanced! I'm on the same dosage I've always been on!
* Let me handle this. Listen, between my clients dwindling cash flow and he's mounting legal fees, he's sinking into a deep, psychotic depression.
- Someone grabbed my ass! Get away from me! Don't TOUCH ME!
* Oh, very nice!
- I've been shot! I'm bleeding! Salmonella. You're a lawyer, that's salmonella! Someone touched my ass!"