Zelig

Lo amo don Woody.

"The Ku Klux Klan, who saw Zelig as a Jew, that could turn himself into a Negro and an Indian, saw him as a triple threat."

"I'm due back in town. I... I have this masturbation class. If I'm not there, they start without me."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

*** Hipnosis

"My brother beat me. My sister beat my brother. My father beat my sister and my brother and me. My mother beat my father and my sister and me and my brother. The neighbors beat our family. The people down the block beat the neighbors and our family."
"I'm 12 years old. I run into a Synagogue. I ask the Rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life... But, he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me six hundred dollars for Hebrew lessons."

*** Best declaration of love EVER

"It's the worst. I hate the country. I hate the grass and the mosquitoes. And cooking... Your cooking is terrible. Your pancakes... They're... I dump them in the garbage when you're not looking. And the jokes you try and tell when... when you think you're amusing, they're long and pointless, there's no end to them. I wanna go to bed with you. I love you. You're very sweet, cos you're... You're not as clever as you think you are. You're all mixed up, and nervous, and you're the worst cook. Those pancakes... Oh, I love you. I wanna take care of you. No more pancakes."

*** Mrs. Fletcher speaking


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"But I’ve never flown before in my life, and it shows exactly what you can do, if you’re a total psychotic!"